Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Humbled


I have been humbled.

It seems like I’ve done a lot of things in my life.  However, lately….it doesn’t seem to really mean anything.  I mean, I was captain of all those sports teams, part-time job slave, friend, brother, son, co-worker, student extraordinaire, etc.

What does it all really mean?

It means I’ve done nothing.  I’ve been slapped in the face in the past year.  Hard.  Never in my life have I felt so helpless.  I know, now, that I can no longer do anything on my own.  I must have Christ in my life.  Nothing has meaning without Him.

I want to be able to serve.  Serve with love, honor, and praise.  Serve without judgment.  Serve without regret.  I’m not sure exactly how to do all of this yet.  I will find out.  I need to consume more.  More words, more faith, more love, more everything.  I want to learn more.  The more that I learn, the more I realize I don’t know, which makes me want to learn even more.  It’s kind of an oxymoron.

I want to speak to people.  I want people to listen to my story.  I’m not sure if anyone can benefit, but I sure hope so.  I think that people could hear my story and be inspired.  I feel like I see things from a different perspective.  I want people to be able to see my perspective.  I want to show people that there are other things in life besides money, jobs, sports, girls, drinking, smoking, etc.

I think that I need to speak more to all of my friends.  I actually know that, to be quite honest.  I know that I need to be more of an influence on my peers’ lives.  I need not be afraid of temptation, of trouble, of worry, of criticism, of crime, of disappointment, of failure. I need not to be afraid of judgment.

Every time that I give something, I want to give more.  I want to give and give and give and give.  And then, give more.  I want to have value in what I give.  The weird thing is, I don’t truly know that what I have to give is good enough.  That needs to change. But, giving something is better than giving nothing.

I’m a different person now.  I’m a new man.  I need to embrace my place on this planet, and start telling people about God’s word.  I need to witness every chance that I get.  I need to make a difference.  I claim to have made a difference in peoples’ lives before, but, I don’t know that to be true. Maybe I’ll never know.

I need to know that what comes out of my mouth is the truth.  And to me, there’s only one truth = God’s word.  That is the absolute truth.  He is the only way.  There’s no other option.  The sooner that I realize that, the sooner I’ll have an impact.  I now know that to be true.

That’s all I ask for: a chance.  Why? Because we don’t get many of them these days…opportunities that is.  I believe you must be able to take every advantage of every opportunity that you get in life.  I need to get better at that.

Jump with me, you won’t regret it.  If you jump, I’ll hold your hand.

Let us love, live like that.


You know what’s wrong with this world? Two words, one answer: I am.